Letter 3 - You Won't Believe Who This Is!
Hello Bregdan Woman,
I’m not going to tell you what Bregdan Woman this letter is about right now. You wouldn’t believe me anyway if I told you right away! I was hard-pressed to believe it myself when I first learned it.
Let’s start this story when little Marguerite was only 3 years old. Her parent’s tumultuous marriage that had created fear and instability had ended. Her daddy packed a suitcase and sent her and her 4-year-old brother alone on the train to live with his mother.
She was scared and didn’t want to go, but she didn’t have a choice. I can’t fully imagine how terrifying it must have been for a 3-year-old and a four-year-old to be ushered to a train and sent into the unknown. Alone. All they had ever known was fear and instability. What would happen to them now?
They held each other tightly as the train chugged down the tracks. Where were they going?
Thankfully, they had a loving grandmother who took them in and created a life for them.
Four years later, with no notice, her father returned to usher the kids back to his estranged wife. Well, she didn’t want to do that either. She’d settled in with her grandmother. It was the only home she really knew.
Again, seven-year-old Marguerite and her brother didn’t have a choice.
One year later, at age 8, Marguerite was raped by her mother’s boyfriend. She confided in her brother what he had done to her, But was too terrified to tell anyone else. He was the one who told the family how his sister had been violated.
The boyfriend went to jail, but only for 1 day. Just that blows my mind. One day for raping a helpless seven-year-old. Someone else, though they never identified who, couldn’t live with that reality either.
The boyfriend who had raped her was found beaten to death just days after his release.
Despite her own pain, little Marguerite was horrified.
After that incident, when they were returned to their grandmother yet again, Marguerite didn’t protest… she couldn’t. The trauma of all that had happened was simply too much for the little girl to handle.
Marguerite bottled up her pain and simply quit speaking. She thought if she spoke, her mouth would just issue out something that would kill people randomly. It was better not to talk.
Marguerite became mute.
Nearly six years would pass before a word would escape her lips. She had learned way too much about how cruel life can be.
Hope had been crushed from her.
But was it really crushed – or was it simply lying dormant until someone gave her the courage to hope again?
In truth, this letter is actually about TWO Bregdan Women…
In order to understand, we’re going to jump forward to when Marguerite was 15.
It was a close friend and teacher that gave Marguerite the courage to begin to hope again. And, yes, this teacher was a Bregdan Woman too, but this story isn’t about her. That letter will be for another time…
This teacher believed in Marguerite and simply loved her. Never doubt the power of simple love.
She introduced her to classic literature, and slowly… slowly… coaxed her to speak again. I don’t know about you, but I can imagine the conflict in Marguerite’s soul as she struggled to find her voice again.
Can’t you just see the teacher having conversations while Marguerite just watched her?
Can’t you see the emotions racing across Marguerite’s face as she tried to decide if she could really trust this woman?
If it would really be safe to come out of her self-imposed shell into what she already knew was a savagely cruel world?
The Bregdan Teacher did something remarkable. She chose to believe in a young girl who couldn’t believe in herself.
Hope stirred within Marguerite. The fear began to crumble. She found herself wanting to express what was inside.
It took time, but the day came when Marguerite spoke again.
Can’t you just imagine what it must have been like when she opened her mouth and heard her own voice come out of it for the first time in 6 years?
Can’t you imagine what her teacher must have felt when her love finally set the girl’s voice free?
Marguerite walked out of the darkness and began to hope again – to believe her life could be something different than it had up to that point.
Her successes were slow and steady in coming, occurring between tragedy and heartache that just wouldn’t seem to stop. Her life didn’t immediately become wonderful.
She still had many battles to fight and many mountains to climb. You see, Marguerite also had a baby out of wedlock; she had a lover who forced her to work as a prostitute; she married and divorced multiple men; and she lost her son to a kidnapping for a time.
Many things happened to her and around her that should have kept this woman from following her dreams. But here’s the thing… she didn’t let the obstacles stand in her way. She chose to be a Bregdan Woman, and she simply kept moving forward.
So, why am I telling you this story? What makes Marguerite so important?
It’s time for me to tell you who Marguerite really is. You probably know her by her brother’s nickname for Marguerite. He called her Maya.
Have you heard of her?
Maya Angelou.
If you have, I bet you are as surprised as I was. I was absolutely amazed that this icon of grace and wisdom had endured so much tragedy. Her life story isn’t easy to hear.
It’s not as pretty as her acclaimed poetry.
It’s hard to believe that mute little girl went on to be billed as poet, dancer, producer, historian, playwright, director, best-selling author – she continued to perform in her 80’s until shortly before her death at age 86.
When she died, she was working on her latest book!
That’s how I intend to end my life - while still writing!
Maya’s life was far from easy – but it was out of the struggle and pain that she became a Bregdan Woman. It was out of her pain and struggles that she found her voice.
It was out of her pain and struggles that she gained the wisdom and empathy that poured out of everything she did. Here’s the truth – she would not be as powerful if she had not had to overcome great pain.
I hate that reality, but I recognize the truth.
She wouldn’t be able to impact lives so powerfully if she hadn’t learned the power of Choosing Hope over and over again. If she hadn’t chosen to be anything less than a Bregdan Woman.
ANY of the things she endured could have made her decide to curl up in a ball and never live life again. Who would have blamed her? Especially those of you listening to me who actually have curled up into a ball.
Or if all you want is to curl up into a ball and give up.
Trust me - I know what it’s like to feel that way! I know what it’s like to curl up into a ball. But here’s the thing…
It’s women like Maya who made me refuse to give up on hope and life.
I chose hope. I chose life.
I’m hoping her story will make your choice easier. Yes, there are women who have made the choice to curl up into a ball and live in misery.
But is that really what you want? I don’t believe so, because you’re reading a letter about a Bregdan Woman.
There is something, perhaps buried deep inside you right now, that wants you to live your life differently. There is a part of you that wonders if you can be a Bregdan Woman, too.
Or perhaps, there is someone special in your life that needs to find the courage Maya had. Share this story with them.
Let Maya Angelou’s story give you the courage to come out of the darkness and choose to be what you dream about.
Will you be as famous as Maya Angelou? Maybe. Maybe not. That’s not the point. The point is that you can turn your pain into great things. You can let pain become your friend because of all the empathy and passion it allows you to live with once you have overcome it.
That is what being a Bregdan Woman is all about!
Will you choose hope?
Will you choose life?
Will you find the voice that only you have?
*********************
What will you do to be a Bregdan Woman?
What will you do today to impact history??
Thank you for joining me in being part of the woven braid of life.
I’m on this journey with you…
Ginny
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