Letter 66 - Advice That Forever Changed My Life!

Hello Bregdan Woman!

You have Ginny today…

I had been invited to attend a friend's family reunion. Coming from a very small family (I have one aunt & uncle and two cousins) I decided it would be fun to go to my first ever family reunion. I was not quite prepared for the reality.

It was a hot July day. The skies were clear, the air was still. Southern humidity wrapped around me like a soaked blanket.

Laughter and talking filled the air when we stepped out of the car. Knots of people clustered everywhere. Children, undaunted by the heat, ran and played – their voices proclaiming their delight. Tables full of food lined the yard and clearing.

I’m outgoing, but it was more than a little overwhelming to be surrounded by hundreds of people – all related! I had absolutely no point of reference, and I knew my white skin and blue eyes made me stand out, and made people question why I was there. I was clearly not family.

My friend had 20 sets of aunts and uncles and untold numbers of cousins. Add in seconds and thirds; great aunts and uncles; etc. and you can imagine the swarm of people. There seemed to be more people than the infamous North Carolina mosquitoes buzzing around!

I met as many strange faces and questioning eyes as I could handle, then escaped to the sanctuary of his grandma's shady porch. That's where I found his grandma who had also retreated there to escape the heat.

Grandma (I never knew her name) was so beautiful with her lined, weathered, ebony face surrounded by soft silver curls. Her dress, solid white with lace, was fresh and crisp even in the withering heat. It was her face that drew me, however. She looked so happy and peaceful, her eyes shining with a bright light that embraced me immediately.

She patted the step next to her rocking chair with her foot. "Have a seat and rest a spell."

I sank down gratefully.

"Kinda a lot of them, aren't there?" she asked, reading my mind immediately.

"More family than I've ever seen in my life," I agreed, laughing with her when her silvery laugh tinkled out.

I relaxed against the porch column as we shared stories of our families. She had many more stories than I did, of course.

There was a brief silence, then Grandma fixed me with her bright eyes. “How old are you?”

“Twenty-one.”

"Can I give you some advice, Ginny?"

I nodded eagerly. I was already so impressed with Grandma’s loving, lively spirit that I wanted to hear anything she had to say.

Grandma settled back in her rocking chair, her face getting a faraway look. She gazed around at the throngs of people and then seemed to scan the horizon before she looked back at me.

"I want you to imagine you're my age, 87 years old. You're sitting in this rocking chair and you're looking back over your life – thinking of all the things you wish you'd done."

She paused and leaned forward to make sure I was listening. "Now go do them," she said firmly, a challenge etched on her face.

Grandma reached down to grab my hand. "It took courage to come here today. You don’t know anyone but my grandson. Not many white girls would land themselves in this many black folks,” she said with a broad smile. “Especially in KKK country.”

Her smile vanished. “Courage don’t mean anything, though, if you don’t use it. You don't want to live a life that ends in a lot of regrets. You got dreams, girl. I can see them in your eyes. Now go do them."

Now go do them.

I listened – with both my heart and mind. And I want you to know I've been doing them ever since. I am so thankful I got that advice when I was so young. It's given me the courage to do things against the norm, bucking the tide any time I shy away from things that I know I'll regret if I don't do them. Her advice has given me the courage to be me.

One of the things I did after my talk with Grandma, the year I graduated from college, was make a list of all the things I wanted to do in my life. It's changed some as I've gotten older, but I love marking things off as I accomplish them.

Let me share just a small portion of my list with you…

1. Travel in every state in America (I've done 49 so far)

2. Work on a ranch in Texas – done

3. Write a book for Teenagers – I've published 6

4. Write historical novels – I've published 21 - with many more to come!

5. Work with High School kids – 18 years of pure joy!

6. Speak 3 foreign languages – I'm working on Spanish but still have 2 to go.

7. Play the guitar – I'm not great, but I play. I love it!

8. Play the piano – not yet, but I will. I have a keyboard downstairs.

9. Travel on every continent – not yet, but I'm working on it.

10. Own my own business – I’ve owned 5 – and now own my publishing company.

11. Bungee jump – YES. What a rush! Now that I’ve done it, my goal is to bungee from a bridge in New Zealand!

My list is MUCH larger, but it gives you an idea. Make your own Bucket List. Put it up where you can see it, then start working toward marking off each accomplishment. I don’t know if you’re 21 or 91 but I learned a long time ago to live as if this was the last day of my life – because you never know how much time you have.

I also decided a long time ago to make the most of every day – believing that if I was still breathing, I had that day to live to the fullest and make a difference. I plan on still living that way every day of my life.

Grandma was a true Bregdan Woman – reaching out to a 21-year-old stranger who needed her wisdom. Not to mention the impact she had by being the matriarch of such a vast family!

Life can be thought about. Or it can be LIVED!! I hope you'll decide to live every day, every moment with gusto – coming to the end with absolutely no regrets!

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What will you do to be a Bregdan Woman?

What will you do today to impact history??

We’re on this journey with you… (and have 2 FREE Gifts for you below…)

Ginny & Suess

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